Like the title of this blog has suggested, please it really needs to cease and desist.
This topic has been on my mind for quite some time and I finally have the down time to write about it. I along with my Black siblings of life are sick and tired of the constant stereotypes, micro and macroaggressions, outright blurts of anger because of who we are, and most importantly:
demonizing, fetishizing, undermining and generalizing Black women.
What do I mean by some of these things? Take a look at the recent video that BuzzFeed posted about
27 Questions that Black People have for other Black People.
Here's the link to the video in case that you didn't want to go through the Google search bar and look for it.
I'll give you time to watch the video...
Trigger warning for this portion: It's about some generalized statements that may be insensitive to others so please, viewer discretion is advised.
Initially, I felt the same way, because some of these questions I've asked myself too. But then I realized (as usual, when things sink in finally) that it really felt more like "27 Questions that Some White People have for Black People, But We Decided to use Black People to Ask Some of These Questions Because a lot of us Perpetuate Them as Some Alternate Life Force When in Fact, we Have the Same Anatomy, Just a Different Skin Tone" and "27 Questions that Some White People have for Black People to Further Insinuate That Colorism is Real and we will Continue to Brand that Into the Future."
Forgive me for generalizing this, but that's exactly what it sounds like in my eyes.
Now as a Black person, I have experienced a lot of these questions such as the following (Note, some of these I will have to discuss later on in this blog, so sit tight!):
- Why is it a problem if I like anime?
- Why do we call each other the N-word, but get vehemently upset when a white person uses the N-word?
- Why is my natural hair, the hair that grows out of my head, seen as a political statement?
- Why do we think people with light skin look better than people with dark skin?
- Why do some Black people say that you're pretty for a dark-skinned girl?
- Why do some Black men only date white women?
- Why is it okay for Black men to date white women, but not okay for a Black woman to date outside of her race?
- Why do we say that we don't want to be seen as a monolith but then try to take people's Black cards away for not liking something that's supposedly "Black"?
- Why don't we like to confront our mental health issues?
- Why is there a checklist for being Black?
- Why is being "educated" considered a white thing? Why can't I love school and also be Black?
- Why do I have to be mixed in order to have long hair?
Alright then, now that that's over with, I will move on to my point.
The point is, a lot of these questions are generalized statements about Black people in a nutshell. Black people come from a lot of intersections themselves!
Take a look at me for example: I am a HUGE nerd: I love anime, cosplay, drawing, manga, video editing and the list goes on. But not only that, I come from a low socioeconomic status. I'm a first generation graduate student, thinking about pursuing a terminal degree later on. I am a woman, but I identify as agender.
(claps) Don't. Generalized. Black. People. How many times do we have to constantly put that out there?
(claps vigorously) I. Am. Not. Here. As. Your. Token.
Going back to the questions I'll take some of them on.
Why is it a problem if I like anime?
There is no problem with that at this point in history. Nerd culture has a lot of people who like anime. HOWEVER that doesn't erase the fact that there is still racism in the community itself, including but not limited to black face in cosplay, cosplaying a character that you want to cosplay, but can't because you're too "dark" to qualify. Believe me, a lot of my confidence has been shot (and still does) because of colorism and forces darker skinned cosplayers into many confined boxes.
On the contrary, I have seen many Black people cosplay as different characters that are on the lighter ends of the complexion spectrum and they STILL slay every time!! My goal this year is to not give any hoots about complexion and cosplay who the heck I want to because I love the character and will always no matter what forces me to be put in a box.
Why is my natural hair, the hair that grows out of my head, seen as a political statement?
The only answer I have to that is because we are dismantling the constant Eurocentric standards that have been imposed on us for centuries. That's a given. It is a political statement in my eyes, but it is also a personal statement. To all of my siblings of life who do perm their hair, that's fine with you as long as you are taking care of your hair -- the same goes to my people who are natural or going to be transitioning to being natural. Just be you.Though the hair that grows out of my head, as kinky and wool-like it is, is part of me and my biological make up. I will always rock my 4c hair proudly despite adversity telling me to do so. Telling me to loosen my curls to make them more manageable or to perm my hair again.
It is unfair that we as Black people have to be held to a standard as what "good, professional, neat" hair looks and we are punished for being ourselves -- yet another reason why I see it as a political statement. I am happy to be nappy and I know that a lot of my Black siblings of life that are natural agree.
Why do some Black men only date white women? Why is it okay for Black men to date white women, but not okay for a Black woman to date outside of her race?
I've seen this a lot in my life. My eldest brother himself is an example of an interracial relationship with a white woman. One of my best friends from high school is also in an interracial relationship with a white man. To this day, I still don't understand why Black men in an interracial relationship is put to a higher pedestal and positively reinforced while Black women who do the same are punished. To me, love is love. Just because my friend is dating outside of her race, it doesn't mean that she hates Black men. What matters to her isn't what's on the outside -- what matters is the character of her partner and to this day they are still together!
Like my American People professor said to me in undergrad: Black women are the people who are the most discriminated against no matter what. Whether it would be in furthering education, relationships, and other personal achievements, Black women are demonized, threatened, undermined. All that we are trying to do is find someone that makes us happy in life, whether it be friends or a partner. So why is that we have to constantly criticize someone for liking someone else?
However, if it were the case for preference in a way that does in fact demonize or undermine a person, that's a problem that you yourself have to solve. That's not cool. Not dating a Black woman because of the stereotype "all Black women are ghetto" or because of mannerism that are prejudicial are absolutely terrible and should not be a legitimate reason. The same goes for other races and ethnicities. It is an unfair judgment on someone and what if they don't fit that stereotype? You're losing out on a great person and you wouldn't even know that because you're too busy being wrapped around by stereotypes and prejudices.
Why do we say that we don't want to be seen as a monolith but then try to take people's Black cards away for not liking something that's supposedly "Black"? Why is there a checklist for being Black?
In order to fully understand this question, I had to define monolith. Monolith has three definitions under it on dictionary.com. The third one is the most relevant to the above question:
3.
something having a uniform, massive, redoubtable, or inflexible qualityor character.
This question hit me so hard in my experience because I have experienced this a lot in my life. Being told by my Black, white and other racial-ethnic counterparts that I was not Black enough and gotten many "Black Cards" or "Black Points" taken away from me.
Just because I or any other Black folks do not like anything that is not stereotypically utilized, done, sang, etc. in the Black community DOES NOT and I mean
DOES NOT make me less Black. It took me forever to really understand what it means to be Black outside of the stereotypes that were instilled in my people. Thanks to social media like Tumblr, Instagram and Twitter, I have grown to love who I am as a Black person. There are communities out there that do uplifting, when a lot of what happens in real life is the opposite.
Black people come in different ways of lifestyle and in different intersections. It's not bad to like rock or sing in different languages or even dress up like a Lolita. You are enough as yourselves. Race is part of you, but it doesn't define you.
Remember folks, you are who you are. Don't let stereotypes determine your Blackness. Matter of fact, don't let them grade you on who you are.
I hope that you have enjoyed this read. Thank you very much for taking your time to reading this blog post.
-Elenna
